Medical field curse

I’m hesitant about writing this but I’ve always wanted to be an open book about things. This has been eating me alive lately and it’s taken me awhile to finally wrap my mind around it (I’m still trying to figure it out too so maybe you can help me) to be able to put it into words so I hope there are some out there who can relate, understand, or at least most of you will finally see why I am the way I am.

In the midst of getting use to motherhood and being a working mom four days a week I have unfortunately sercome to the curse of the medical field. I was talking to a retired EMT the other day about patient behaviors and how they begin to take a toll on you as a person. Then it hit me, I have lost my sympathy for human beings. I see people every day taking advantage of the medical field. I see people every day addicted to pain medication among other substances. I see people who with just a few months of a life style change in eating habits and exercise the pain would disappear without the use of drugs. I see people taking advantage of the healthcare government system that comes out of my check talking about how they go dancing and exercising every day but can’t work due to the pain.  I have people daily pulling the wool over my eyes to make me think they are in excruciating pain. I see 20 year old girls coming in needing high doses of pain medication mainly because they just can’t cope any more. Over time you have a hard time believing everyone. Over time you have a hard time sympathizing because you see where change can be made. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I know there are people out there who are sincere in their medical needs (I usually can tell who you are). I love what I do. I see people healed daily too. I see daily the difference we at Clarksville Pain Consultants are making in peoples lives. And it blesses my heart. I know God has me there to reach out to these people, to pray for them, to show them His love. And believe me I do my ultimate best, but man, there are just those days that it gets you so bogged down that you just want to scream, “Really, really!” Those days I want to just scream the love of God in their face and push them to the ground on their knees because they are looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking to cover up the pain with all the wrong things.Then there are those days when you have just seen it all and have had enough and all you can do is roll your eyes and go on about your day cause you know you are going to talk till you’re blue in the face and it’s not going to matter.

I’m sure those of you reading this who have/are in the medical field,especially pain management, can understand where I’m coming from, and I ask you to give me your two cents on how you get through this. How do you overcome this? What things have you seen cause I know you have stories just like me where you think you have seen it all. Please do share. It will encourage me.

~carrie

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2 Responses to Medical field curse

  1. Twila says:

    Carrie, Yes, you are so right. There are many people out there taking advantage of so many things in this life. I worked as a pharmacy tech for a while and I saw so many people my age and younger, even your age and younger doing the same thing while I also saw people who needed things not able to get them. It is not fair and it is disheartening. The main thing you said that stood out in your letter is that you know you are there through God’s grace. You know that make a difference in some lives and in some you can not. The main thing is try to have compassion and if at all possible always try to have a kind word for even those who you know are in bad situtations. You never know at what point in someone’s life what you say or do to them could be the changing point in their life. I had an experience several years ago that my cousin and myself witnessed to a neighbor friend of her parents about the harm he was doing to himself drinking so much and how it affected everyone around him. He told me 8 or so yrs later that what we said to him was the turning point in his life that made him stop drinking and start leading a different life. I had no idea that I would ever have such an effect on a person. I know that God spoke through me and my cousin that day and that He is the one who helped him to change. I know it is agravating and sometimes you want to slap them up side the head but just take a deep breath and readjust and continue on. If at anytime it becomes more than you can take, it is then God will lead you to another profession and job. He will put us where we need to be in life if we just let him “take the wheel” as the song goes. I hope this is of some comfort or insight to you and I wish you and your family the best of all God has in store for you.

    • Cheryl says:

      You are absolutely correct. It takes a toll on your own soul, it steals the gift given to you. Healthcare is a field where you begin questioning humanity itself and see the lies that really tie up our whole culture and drags it further and further from God. Sometimes the fruit of what we plant is so far and few we can’t remember them. But is beautiful when we do see the miracles. It is the only reason to keep showing up for work everyday.

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