I’m hesitant about writing this but I’ve always wanted to be an open book about things. This has been eating me alive lately and it’s taken me awhile to finally wrap my mind around it (I’m still trying to figure it out too so maybe you can help me) to be able to put it into words so I hope there are some out there who can relate, understand, or at least most of you will finally see why I am the way I am.
In the midst of getting use to motherhood and being a working mom four days a week I have unfortunately sercome to the curse of the medical field. I was talking to a retired EMT the other day about patient behaviors and how they begin to take a toll on you as a person. Then it hit me, I have lost my sympathy for human beings. I see people every day taking advantage of the medical field. I see people every day addicted to pain medication among other substances. I see people who with just a few months of a life style change in eating habits and exercise the pain would disappear without the use of drugs. I see people taking advantage of the healthcare government system that comes out of my check talking about how they go dancing and exercising every day but can’t work due to the pain. I have people daily pulling the wool over my eyes to make me think they are in excruciating pain. I see 20 year old girls coming in needing high doses of pain medication mainly because they just can’t cope any more. Over time you have a hard time believing everyone. Over time you have a hard time sympathizing because you see where change can be made. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I know there are people out there who are sincere in their medical needs (I usually can tell who you are). I love what I do. I see people healed daily too. I see daily the difference we at Clarksville Pain Consultants are making in peoples lives. And it blesses my heart. I know God has me there to reach out to these people, to pray for them, to show them His love. And believe me I do my ultimate best, but man, there are just those days that it gets you so bogged down that you just want to scream, “Really, really!” Those days I want to just scream the love of God in their face and push them to the ground on their knees because they are looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking to cover up the pain with all the wrong things.Then there are those days when you have just seen it all and have had enough and all you can do is roll your eyes and go on about your day cause you know you are going to talk till you’re blue in the face and it’s not going to matter.
I’m sure those of you reading this who have/are in the medical field,especially pain management, can understand where I’m coming from, and I ask you to give me your two cents on how you get through this. How do you overcome this? What things have you seen cause I know you have stories just like me where you think you have seen it all. Please do share. It will encourage me.